in the best of seasons, i can struggle with decision making. it’s really easy to see this in my relaxation/hobbies/free time. there are one million things i want to do - learn to bake bread! grow a garden from seed! knit! sew! have house plants! foster cats! read a bunch! watch movies! art journal! regular journal! decorate! volunteer! - and often when it comes right down to it, i collapse onto the couch. there are so many things i could do that it seems really hard to pick something to do.
so, at some point, i started writing down a list of choices to pick from. and over time, it has morphed into the idea of a menu.
because what is a menu that lists everything you can have, sorted by category, that is possible with the materials you have on hand? and in this extended metaphor, i think about time as the limiting resource, aka, the money. because sometimes you have the cash to splash out on a fancy, all you can eat brunch buffet, and sometimes you’re getting a side and a cup of coffee. but it’s nice to see all the options and decide what works for you, that day.
to see how it works, here’s an example taken from my own life:
it’s friday night. the weekend stretches ahead of me. i know that there are some things i should do to catch up, and a few things that i have tentatively scheduled, and a few things that i would love to try out.
i sit down with my beloved yellow legal pad and i sketch out a menu in a few categories:
should get dones (network prep, email clean up, desk clean, house clean)
fun things that are time sensitive (a trip to my community garden, a masked walk with a friend, a date to watch FIRST COW with my husband)
things to fill up my soul and rest my eyes (knit on my new blanket, read some of my library book, work on my paint by number, weed my garden, eat a tomato sandwich, send an email to a friend)
on saturday morning, i look at the menu and think “i have a few hours before that walk, why not take care of that email clean up, because that plus a walk will be a well balanced morning.” i do those things.
saturday for lunch i eat a tomato sandwich, because delicious idea past self!
saturday afternoon i clean some of my house and read some of my book before settling in for our planned movie date.
and on sunday, i repeat the whole process - with some repeats, some new activities, and a sense that i had a plan even though i didn’t have a schedule.
having it written down, or somehow accessible to me, makes it easier to make decisions. i don’t, for example, surf the internet for hours trying to decide what to knit or if i should learn to sew because that’s more practical than knitting - i knit on my blanket. the categories help me balance between the different kinds of rest and prep that make my life run. the whole enterprise encourages me to experiment - just because it’s on the menu doesn’t mean i have to do it, but it does mean i could, and sometimes, i feel like something new!
but i’m also coming to learn that menus really help me solve one of the age old dilemmas in my personal and professional life: i desperately want to be the kind of person who has a set, stable routine (in the morning or at night!) but my life changes, my schedule changes, and the way that my body and mind change make that really difficult.
so instead of a morning routine that i repeat every day without fail, i have a morning menu:
reflection category:
morning pages
free writing in Notion
gratitude journal
meditation
fuel category:
coffee
tea
red bull
breakfast foods
workout
walk around the block
getting set up category:
scribbling first few tasks on a post it
using my planner
working on what i identified the day before as a place to start
i try and have at least one from each category - because my three main goals in the morning are to reflect, get something to power myself until lunch, and set up for a more purposeful day. and sometimes that looks like a long Notion planning session after a workout with pancakes and coffee and a lot of good reflection work, and sometimes that looks like typing BOO I HATE WORKING while drinking a red bull and starting with the most on fire thing on my plate. some days i have more time, and lots of energy, and sometimes i only have 15 minutes and enough energy to drink the coffee that’s already made but cold on the counter. but, i have choices. and having all those choices laid out for me means that i drive the morning, not my fear of losing a streak, or my anxiety about what it means that i am not always in the headspace for a full, grounded hour of a morning ritual.
so if you’re in a space where things are unpredictable, experiment with menu planning - what are the core functions you want to focus on over a weekend, or in a morning routine - and how can you give yourself choices to meet them? you might just find some new, fun, and unexpected benefits!!