6 - Why is the middle of a big project so hard?

episode 6 - why is the middle of a big project so hard?

The middle of the project, well, it can be messy! But if you're in the middle - of a project, a term, a month like AcWriMo - well then this is the episode for you. I'm talking all about strategies for you to try to help bring a little sparkle into that mess!

Mentioned in the podcast is Duolingo!

sign up for AcWriMo 2022 - and get a whole month of free resources to support your writing during a time of year where it is SO easy not to write!

  • Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar. We'll talk about why some of these things are so hard, and how that difficulty is showing up for you. Each episode has practical strategies to experiment with -- just because it's hard now doesn't mean it always has to be.

    There's still time to join us in AcWriMo. And there'll be more details about that at the end of this podcast.

    As I record this. I'm recording from the middle of the month of November. But you might be listening to it in the middle of a big project, the middle of a sprint, the middle of the semester, maybe the middle of the year. Whatever kind of middle you're in - Let's talk about why the middle, lovingly referred to as the messy middle, can feel just so hard.

    Who doesn't love a fresh, shiny new beginning. I know that I definitely do. I love new year's Eve. I love new year's day. I love new notebooks. I love the start of a month. I love a new moon. I love a fresh start. Because it hasn't been wrecked yet. There's sparkle. There's an excitement. It's the time that I am the most in touch with the version of myself that believes I can do it.

    It's the part of me that knows that I am trying, and then it could be hard, but I'm giving it all I can. I love that feeling.

    The beginning of AcWriMo could have felt that way for you or maybe at the beginning of a chapter or the beginning of a new semester. It's all to play for. So to speak.

    And then there's the end. It isn't as rested, usually as the beginning, but it has its own set of sparkles about it. It's the ability to see the finish line, the fact that you can cross things off your to-do list and they stay crossed off. You can do whatever you need to because the end is in sight and you know that it won't last forever.

    The end might be tiring. It might be exhausting, but it has an end. And that can make it a little bit more tolerable for sure.

    So if we have the sparkle of the beginning and the promise of the end. What does the middle have? Well, Nothing. Unless you add it. And that's, what's so hard, it's that the middle in order to have that sparkle or that sense of engagement often needs things to be added to it. It doesn't come as naturally. So many of us can feel like the middle of projects are wandering. We get distracted. We go down rabbit holes or we just simply clock in clock out, put our silly little words in our silly little document and hope that eventually we'll have the degree.

    If all of that is resonating with you, take a minute. Take a deep breath, grab your notebook and let's get into what you associate with the middle, what it looks like for you, what behaviors are associated with this week's reflection questions.

    Number one: What happens to you in the middle? Do you tend to push too hard, too fast, and then you absolutely crash after the first 20%?. Do you have a lot of trouble getting started? And then you pushed back, pushed back, pushed back, and the middle becomes a sort of dance between adrenaline and avoidance?

    What are your patterns in the middle of big projects?

    Question two. What chunks of time makes sense to you? What chunks are too big for you to really hold in your brain and what are too little for you to truly be involved in? For example for me, a week is the sweet spot. It's not so small that it feels really high stakes and that there isn't a chance to redo things, but it's not so long that I get absolutely lost in the sheer expanse of it..

    You might feel that way about days versus hours or weeks versus months, but what chunks of time makes sense to you?

    And then lastly, what is most sparkly to you? What really lights you up? Is it that sense of newness? Is it actually having constraints and limits and boundaries? Is it validation, the hit of feedback or that pat on the back that maybe you're looking for? Is it community that feels sparkly to you knowing that you're not doing it all by yourself?

    Is it visibility that you can see it changing, even if it's changing slowly? But what feels sparkly to you? What feels motivating? What feels engaging?

    All right. I've saved a lot of time in this week's episode for the experiments, because these are some really fun ones, but they take a little bit more explanation. They are absolutely inspired by the, not at all a sponsor of this podcast, but true love of my life. At least right now, Duolingo. If you've never used the app, Duolingo, it's a language learning app.

    It's based right here in Pittsburgh, which is where I am also based. So it's a hometown app for me, but I love that I get points. I love that I can see my progress and the reason that Duolingo works so well is that it gamifies learning a language. And by that I mean, it makes it fun. It makes it rewarding. It gives you clear sets of instructions for clear outcomes and clear benefits. Learning a language, much like a dissertation, is a project that has a start, a middle and an end and some measurable deliverables, but also can be lifelong. It's ongoing like the work of scholarship. So it's a good place to look and see what they're doing to make the middle a little bit more exciting.

    Okay. The first experiment to try is additive tracking. This is my term for any set of tracking that you do that measures the time that you showed up. A very clear example of this in Duolingo and in a lot of other places, are your streaks. Right now, as of recording, I have a 154 day streak of learning French on my Duolingo app. I'm really proud of that. The fact that I can recall that without looking at my phone or even preparing for that particular stat means that it means something to me that I've done it for a hundred fifty four days.

    That streak is rewarding. It doesn't tell you how many new words I've learned or whether or not I played the same amount every day, or if I did the same number of lessons, it's just the sheer satisfaction of watching that number build up over time. For any set of skill-building things, whether that's learning a language or learning to write in an academic way, having a streak can be really motivating because it can help you see that yes, the milestone might still be far away, but you've showed up 50 times, 20 times a hundred times! And that's really rewarding. That is a sense that you're doing it. You're putting your butt in the chair. You're showing up.

    It's the same principle that we talked about last week with toilet training charts, it's taking those mini sessions that might not in themselves be totally rewarding and linking them together so that they become more than the sum of their parts.

    Okay. Experiment number two: Restrict one variable.

    In the middle, there can be a sense of deja vu that every week is the same. Every writing session is the same. You sit down, you show up, you write your silly little words in your silly little document, and that's the end of it. So in a restrict one variable experiment, you do just that. You add an artificial sometimes completely arbitrary limit to your process, To see what that changes about the experience of it.

    Going back to our example Duolingo uses that by timed challenges. Every week you compete against people in a specific league. There is a sense that yes, learning a language is lifelong, but in this week I am actively trying to get into the obsidian league, and so I have to beat these random people in my league. And make sure that I'm doing as much or more of my lesson learning than they are. You can do this in your own writing or your own projects too. Maybe you set aside a sprint week with a baseline, a stretch, and a challenge goal of how many articles you want to get through for your comps. And you say, okay, for this week I'm going to try as hard as I can to do this. I'm going to set up different structures.

    Awesome. This is my sprint week. I won't do this all the time, but it's going to feel really good. Maybe you do a time challenge, like AcWriMo that's the exact same principle. You take a month, you set it aside. You really push to make November feel different than October or December.

    And last but not least our third experiment is to add in even more accountability in between those milestones. This is something that Duolingo does with the reminders. Hey, have you checked in today? Those reminders are so persistent that they're their own meme, but they do work.

    It does work to have this little green owl text me at eight o'clock and remind me that I have a streak that I'm going to lose if I don't get my butt into my Duolingo doing chair.

    So this accountability might feel a little bit strange because most of the time we want accountability for the finished product: the end goal, the submission. Did I do this on time? But adding in some accountability in between can be really helpful. If your advisor is game for it, one of the most powerful tools I've seen, some of my clients use is sending an update email to their advisor every other Friday or so. Maybe once a month, maybe adding in a status report during team check-in meetings... the mode can really vary, but adding a quick accountability update: "this is what I did. This is where I'm stuck. This is what's going well, and this is what I'm going to do next time" can really add a little bit of that accountability, that visibility that we're all looking for. In-between the , now go do it. And the turn it in stage. This can also work really well with friends in a group chat, with people on Twitter. You can join a community, maybe like the thrive PhD community and have daily check-ins or weekly check-ins if you want.

    I've seen people do really great things with the hundred days of dissertation writing on Instagram challenge where you post a picture every day.

    The method really doesn't matter. The science does, which is adding that little bit of accountability.

    And like our Duolingo app, the importance is that we're building a habit through the changes. Through the ups and downs, the weeks where you only could do one lesson, to the weeks where you won your whole league The point of these messy middle support strategies is that it helps keep us on track in between the exciting beginning and the satisfying finale, where we need a lot of support. And we often don't think to give it to ourselves. So. May your messy middle be a little bit more sparkly, a little bit more visible and give you a little bit of the boost that you need to make it just that much closer to the finish line. See you soon.

    📍 Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com, where you can also sign up for AcWriMo 2022, a free month of writing support and resources. And if you're liking what you're hearing, please subscribe, rate, and review to help other people find the show. Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!

7 - Why is it so hard to ask for feedback on your work?

5 - Why is it so hard to push for a deadline?

0