3.13 so your advisor sucks. now what?

so, you've realized that your advisor doesn't meet all your needs - now what?

this podcast has three steps to help you move through the sticky feelings when this important relationship doesn't feel aligned, and how to move through that.

make sure you check out the first episode of season three, building a team of mentors, for practical steps to keep this process going!

Sign up for AcWriMo 2023 here - a month of completely FREE resources to support your academic writing! And from now until December 11, take 15% off everything in the Thrive PhD store - no code needed! It's just my way of saying thank you for an awesome year!

• transcript

  A juicy one this week. Let's talk about what happens when your advisor sucks.

  📍 Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar.

  And in season three, I'm demystifying some of the most important, but often invisible parts of grad school that learning about might just make your life a little bit easier. And make sure you check out the link in the show notes for my working more intentionally tool kit. Which is available for you totally for free. Now let's get into it

  One of the truth is truths about grad student supervision is that very, very few people are explicitly trained in it. So faculty members get jobs, bring on students and then have no real sense of how to mentor a student other than how they themselves were mentored. So many students find themselves with a supervisor or a mentor or a PI who doesn't fit their needs. But once you realized that an advisor, isn't what you need, or at least all of what you need. Then what. I've got three steps today that you can take to work with this issue.

  It's the most frequent one that I get when I am working with new clients. And I think it's important to talk about it because often there are not as many choices as we would like, but there are often more choices than you think. So. Here are three things that you can do. Step one. Except that it isn't fair.

  And that this is a systemic issue. This is an important step because most graduate students, I know working with supervisors that are not good fits, internalize that fact on some level. They work harder to try and please an unpleasable critic. They hide their diverse career plans because they sense that they won't be supported.

  They take advice that they know doesn't fit their values or their life or their brain, because it seems disrespectful or sneaky to ask for a second opinion. If your advisor only reads the work of the person in your lab who was on Dr. Graduate, that's not a fair system. You all deserve feedback. If you worry about your funding disappearing, if you reveal something about your personal life or your future. Plans that isn't fair.

  It doesn't have any real bearing. The work that you're doing in the degree. These issues are pervasive and they often have everything to do with how the supervisor understands their role and little to do with the individual student. It isn't fair. It sucks. It actively hurts graduate students, and more than likely you didn't do or say anything to cause the situation. Now, of course, this isn't to put all the blame on individual advisors either. When you produce exponentially more PhDs than there are available tenure track jobs, it fundamentally changes the purpose of the degree and mentorship.

  And a lot of ways has had to change along with that. And few supervisors are trained in how to support students through a degree that looks nothing like the one they received. This is an academia wide issue.

  Step two. Identify what you need. So once you've accepted that your advisor isn't supporting you and all the ways that you need to be supported, it's tempting to generalize. They're just a terrible advisor. And there's nothing that I can do about it. But often digging through to a more nuanced understanding can be really helpful. Maybe they're extremely careful readers of your writing, but they don't really know how to support your career plans. Maybe they're incredibly supportive of your health and allowing you to build a flexible work structure, but there's also no apparatus in place to make sure you actually graduate when you want to.

  And you're on target. Dig in and find out what areas really need support. You're a graduate student experience, this complex. It needs to be supported in a lot of different areas. The more you understand where you need the support, the easier it's going to be to find it.

  Step three. Empower yourself to get the help that you need. It is so hard to say. This isn't working and I need more help. But if you can get to a point where you want to do while in grad school and beyond.

  If you can get to a point where you want to do grad school. If you can get to a point where you want to do well in grad school, and you want that more than you ever want to never need help. It becomes easier to ask for the support that you need. Ultimately, unless your advisor's magical unicorn. You will not, you will need additional support that they can not give. This is especially true because only you can zoom out and see the entire picture of your life. Only, you know, where you want to be in five or 10 years and what things are incredibly hard for you to achieve or what your health and wellness is.

  It's so hard to remember that everyone is trying to keep up a perfect image for the eventual job market, but actually the number one goal on grad school is to complete the degree. Not to complete the degree without needing any support from anyone ever. So if the goal is to complete the work. Why not ask for things that will help make it easier. Why not build up a team of mentors, support, and resources that you need to get, where you want to go in the way that makes the most sense for your life. Now, these team of mentors look really different for different people.

  For me, my team was my advisor a little bit, my committee, a little bit more. And then I network of people around campus and off of it that helps support me. As a whole person. I had people who supported my career ambitions. I had people that I talk to about my health. I had colleagues that worked with me about my writing.

  I had people in other departments that brainstormed and taught. Different classes with me. I had people all over and ultimately what I felt like was this huge downside to my experience. That my advisor wasn't great. And that I needed more support ended up being one of the most valuable things about my PhD experience, because I had these relationships with more people

  I had such a richer network than some of my other colleagues did because I had gone beyond the two or three people that I was basically assigned. Those people in my network are the ones that help me get jobs. They're the ones that helped me through tough situations and they allowed me to have a lot more power in my PhD journey.

  It would be great if academia were a system that was inclusive, where support was offered freely in a diversity of goals and experiences were anticipated in plan for. There are a lot of us who are making. A lot of effort. To make that happen. But until then the biggest danger is not actually bad advisors. The biggest danger to graduate students is your belief that your entire fate and future rests in one person or a few people's hands. It doesn't. Working to support yourself so that you can do your best work is a skill that's going to pay off forever.

  And now it's a good time to start. I hope that this gave you at least a little bit of normalization around the idea that you can still have an advisor. Who's not a perfect fit. Or somebody who's really great. And still isn't what you need in a specific moment and do well in grad school. It's so hard. To feel stuck and to say, okay, I need something.

  And this person isn't giving it to me. But knowing that there are benefits to creating a network and that we learned so much about ourselves identifying what we need, figuring out where to find it and applying it. Can really help make the difference between this is something that I have to do because this person is so terrible. Into, even in the best case scenario, I would want to do this because it has a lot of benefits. Just a quick note that the once a year thrive, PhD sale is still going on now through December 11th.

  So make sure you click the link in the bio. 15% off everything in the store. No special code needed. I hope that this short and sweet episode gave you a little bit of space to think about your world. And your advisor. And I can't wait to see you next week. Bye.

  📍 Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com. Every month, I'll select one reviewer for a free 45 minute session with me. So please subscribe, rate, and review to help spread the word about the show. Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!