this year, a little bit on a whim, i decided to commit to morning pages - three pages of handwritten text in a notebook before (in theory) i start my day. i was looking for a practice that was easy, portable, and helped me bring a little bit of mindfulness into my days. so i got my notebook and today, i have fourteen little entries.
to be honest, it still feels really high stakes - like one cold or bad morning could knock me off my game and i would lose the habit and my goal for the year all at once! unlike the habit of say - brushing my teeth - this one definitely feels fragile and like it needs a lot of attention to get it right. it feels automatic to brush my teeth - it does NOT feel automatic to do my morning pages right now.
but, i know that there’s a life cycle of habits. there are some - like teeth brushing, that feel rock solid, but that that only comes after some time and practice. those are grown up habits - you trust them to be there, even if, you know, you fall asleep on the couch and stagger upstairs and forget to brush one day.
but then there are new habits - fledglings! - they’re just out of the nest and they need a lot of time and care until they feel like they can stand on their own. and when i work with clients, we often talk about adding in some purposeful care around these fledgling habits until you trust them to fly on their own a little bit more.
it’s really easy to just add habits to the list of things to do in a day - want to be more mindful? add a meditation habit! want to exercise more? add a morning workout habit! before long, your whole day can be just a list of habits, an endless to do list before the actual to do’s of your work day.
i encourage you, instead, to think about your habits like a practice - some are solid, some are strengthening, and some you can retire for the moment. the goal isn’t total completion every day of the whole list - the goal is to use the tools you need, when you need them, and to learn how to best work it in to your day and your life.
the difference can sound miniscule, but for me, it’s less about “did I do my morning pages, yes or no” and more about “what can i do to make my morning pages feel intentional so that i get the full benefits of that as a practice in a more holistic way?” my life will go on if i miss day 16, or 245, or the entire month of july - but every time i come back to my notebook to write down my thoughts and empty out my brain, that habit grows up just a little bit.
here is a habit inventory sheet i use with clients to help them see which habits are needing what kind of care - may it be useful to you this week as you dig into what things you’re growing in your own routines!